Shooting with Antonioni

‘I fall into bed exhausted. I dream that Jeanne Moreau wants to come out of the painting too, but for some reason I can’t do it for her. I know I’ll be dreaming of the filming for weeks to come; I always do when I’ve finished a shoot.’ This is Wim Wenders - today celebrating his 80th birthday - writing one of the last entries in his diary of an ‘extraordinary experience’ filming with the Italian director Michelangelo Antonioni.

Wenders was born in Düsseldorf on 14 August 1945, into a traditional Catholic family. His father was a surgeon. He went to school in Oberhausen, then studied medicine and philosophy in Freiburg and Düsseldorf, but dropped out of university to go to Paris to paint. It was to the film world, though, that he was soon drawn. Returning to Germany, he took a job in the Düsseldorf office of United Artists, before studying for three years (1967-1970) at Hochschule für Fernsehen und Film München  (Munich’s university for TV and film). At the same time, he wrote film reviews for national magazines, including Der Spiegel.

With other directors and writers in 1971, he founded the company Filmverlag der Autoren; and then, later, he set up his own production company, Road Movies. In 1978, he went to Hollywood to direct Hammett, but disputes with the executive producer Francis Ford Coppola, resulted in a delayed release and a truncated version. Wenders first international successes came in the 1980s, especially with films like The State of Things (1982), Paris, Texas (1984) which won him several significant awards, including the Palme d’Or and Baftas, and Wings of Desire (1987). His films are known for their lush visual imagery, much of which stems from the work of his longstanding collaborator, the Dutch cinematographer Robby Müller.

Wenders has directed several well-received documentaries, such as Buena Vista Social Club (1999), and The Soul of a Man (2003), many music videos for bands, as well as television commercials. He is a member of the advisory board of World Cinema Foundation, founded by Martin Scorsese. Alongside his film work, Wenders has also forged a major reputation as a photographer, exhibiting regularly and widely. The Wim Wenders Foundation, Düsseldorf, was created in 2012 to bring together his artistic work in film, literary and photographic fields, so as to make it publicly accessible. Among many other honours, he was presented with the Honorary Golden Bear at the 65th Berlin International Film Festival in February 2015.

Ten years ago, a happy 70th birthday message on the official Wim Wenders read as follows: ‘The long and winding road. So sang the Beatles in 1970. Wim was just 25 years old then and since then what a journey it’s been. Along the way we’ve witnessed his images, words and sounds. A photographer, painter, observer, explorer, storyteller, collector and cartographer. The journey with Wim allows us to see a new world. A world that encompasses his art. And whilst not all of his portraits show people, there’s a sense of humanity we can all feel part of. Ingmar Bergman talks about the wonder of silence. Wim’s imagery instills silence and yet if we get lost on our journey his music guides us back.’ For more on Wenders see Wikipedia, Senses of Cinema, Villa e Collezione Panza, or Images Journal.

I can find no obvious evidence that Wenders is a diary keeper by nature, but for a few months in the winter of 1994-1995, he did keep a diary, with the specific purpose of recording time spent with Antononio. A decade earlier, the renowned Italian director had suffered a stroke, and lost the ability to speak or write, though he could draw with his left hand. After much negotiation, and many delays, he and his wife, Enrica, had assembled finance, actors and crew to make a last film - Beyond the Clouds - comprising four of his own stories about romance and illusion. A condition of the producers was that another director be on hand - hence Wim Wenders’ nominal role as co-diretor.

The diary kept by Wenders was first published in German in 1995, and then translated by Michael Hofmann for publication in English in 200 as My Time with Antonioni - The Diary of an Extraordinary Experience. (A few pages can be sampled at Amazon.) Wenders wrote about the project in an article for The Guardian; but what comes across most forcefully when reading Wenders’ book is the huge effort - as well as compromises in Wenders’ case - made by so many people to bring Antonioni’s vision to the screen. Here are two extracts, from the first and last entries - the first and last days of shooting - in the English edition of the diary.

3 November 1994
‘First day of shoot. At last. Because the shoot has been put back from spring to summer and now to autumn, I’ve been able to be with Michelangelo and the crew during the last week of preparations in Portofino, the location for the first episode, ‘La ragazza, il delitto’, but on the very eve of the shoot I have to be in Paris. The French edition of my book Once is coming out, and there’s an exhibition in the FNAC, press-conference and interviews, and the whole thing is due to end so late there’s no chance of getting back to Italy the same night.

There was a lovely, unexpected ending to the day when we were driven back to the hotel by Martine and Henri Cartier-Bresson. How attentive, kindly and alert the old gentleman was, always so careful not to appear ‘old’: he’d rather hold open a door himself than have it held for him.

Yesterday morning we went to see a demonstration of the latest HDTV-to-film transfer from Thomson’s, who are interested in working with Michelangelo and me. The images on screen, recorded digitally and then put on film, are really impressive, and only barely distinguishable from real film images. They might actually be the perfect language for Michelangelo to shoot his final episode, ‘Due telefaxi’. The electronic medium would match the atmosphere of the story. And wouldn’t it be appropriate, too, for Michelangelo to make the last part of his last film using the technology of the next century, seeing as he was one of the very first directors with a positive attitude to video, and was never shy of new technology? [. . .]

Today, then, the first day of the shoot, Donata and I got up bright and early, took the first plane from Paris to Milan, and drove to Portofino through mist and occasional rain, afraid the weather might make us late. But we arrive on time. The first clapboard is an hour later. The rain has delayed everything, and indeed it will dominate the day’s events.

First off, big excitement, not least among the producers: it appears that the moment he got on set, Michelangelo announced that everything is being changed around, so it’s not John Malkovich who’s going to come out the door and walk down into town, but Sophie Marceau. That means changing the bedroom, where we’re going to film later, from a ‘man’s room’ to a woman’s. ‘Here we go . . .’ you can see the producers thinking. But on closer inspection, the change makes sense. Michelangelo just hadn’t been in a position before to clear up our misunderstanding. It often seemed to me in our discussions that it was simply too much of an effort for him to make his intentions clear to us, and so occasionally he left us under some misapprehension, fully knowing that the moment of truth would dawn once we were filming. Also, Michelangelo has trouble differentiating between ‘he’ and ‘she’ when speaking, so we were often uncertain whether he was talking about the male or the female character in a story. [. . .]

Having this huge crew and these actors assembled here - all of us ready to give everything we have over the coming weeks - to make a film out of this shooting script and this schedule is Enrica’s personal triumph. And today, on the first day of the shoot, there she is standing in front of the monitors next to Michelangelo, beaming all over her face. Of course everyone is making a fuss of him, but we know that Erica was and is the driving force behind him. A great dream is becoming reality, for both of them. Now it is up to us to sustain the dream to the end, so there is no rude awakening.

In looking for my own niche, I keep in the background, and leave various initiatives and suggestions with Michelangelo’s helpers [. . .] I will have succeeded in my task if I find the right balance between staying out of it and, where absolutely necessary, taking a hand. And above all, I need to learn to keep my own ideas on how I would shoot a scene to myself, because they’re not helpful in this situation.[. . .]

I take a few stills photographs, with the Fuji 6x9, rather sheepishly. Donata dusts off her new Nikon F4 and takes some pictures of the shoot and the crew, in black and white. I’m sticking to colour.

It’s very late, and I feel totally exhausted. Being at a shoot without being in charge is much more taxing than I had imagined.

Over supper we laughed till we cried while Tonino regaled us with the story of how Fellini was the first person who managed to get food stains on his back while eating. Tonino demonstrated how Fellini broke a roll in half, and a piece of mortadella flew up in the air and landed between his shoulderblades. He kept imitating Fellini standing there, with the slice of meat sticking to his back, worrying about how cross Giulletta would be when she’d get to hear about his foolish adventure.’

29 March 1995
‘Sixty-fourth day of shoot. The last day. My shoot ends on the day all the newspapers are carrying photographs of Michelangelo with Jack Nicholson. They’re all full of reports of Oscar night, and I buy all the newspapers I can lay my hands on, especially the Italian ones. [. . .]

My first thanks are due to Robby and Donata. As the evening goes on, with all of us eating at a buffet in a hall off the studio, it gradually sinks in that this adventure is over for the moment. There’s still the editing and the post-production to come, but they can’t be as risky or as onerous as the shooting.

Someone turns up the music, and we dance ourselves off our feet.

I fall into bed exhausted. I dream that Jeanne Moreau wants to come out of the painting too, but for some reason I can’t do it for her. I know I’ll be dreaming of the filming for weeks to come; I always do when I’ve finished a shoot. And they’re always dreams where something impossible has to be done, too. I’ve never been on a shoot where I haven’t been plagued by these nightmares afterwards.’

This article is a slightly revised version of one first published on 14 August 2015.

Missing Tom and Kate

Today marks the 30th anniversary of the tragic death of the British mountain climber, Alison Hargreaves. Having scaled Everest without the aid of sherpas or bottled oxygen, she was intent on completing similar climbs of the second and third highest mountains, K2 and Kangchenjunga, but she died on the descent from the K2 summit. Her diaries, as used by David Rose and Ed Douglas in their biography, Regions of the Heart, reveal a woman constantly torn between love of her two children and her obsession not only to climb, but to make her mark as a mountain climber.

Hargreaves was born in 1962, and grew up in Belper, Derbyshire, the middle child of three. Her family were often out walking on the English hills, and aged nine she had raced ahead of them to be the first to the summit of Britain’s highest mountain, Ben Nevis. She was introduced to rock climbing aged 13, preferring to climb than to study for Oxford as her parents had done. Aged 16, while working in a climbing shop, she met amateur climber Jim Ballard, nearly twice her age. She left home two years later to live with him. The couple ran an outdoor equipment shop, while Hargreaves trained and climbed in her spare time. By her mid-20s, she had climbed in the Himalayas, but in 1988 - the year she married Jim - she was back in the Alps, notably climbing the north face of the Eiger while six months pregnant with Tom. Her second child, Kate, was born two years later.

By 1993, Alison and Jim were in so much debt they had to leave their house. They relocated to live in Switzerland, in an old Land Rover, so that Hargreaves could continue to climb. That year she became the first person ever to scale the six north faces of the Alps alone and in one season. This brought her media and sponsorship attention. She wrote a book about the feat - A Hard Day’s Summer - but it was poorly received, and money problems continued.

Hargreaves decided that her next project - for personal and financial reasons - should be Everest. She bailed on a first attempt in 1994 fearing frostbite, but a second attempt in May 1995 succeeded, making her the first woman to reach the summit alone and without supplementary oxygen (the first man was Reinhold Messner - see Death on Nanga Parbat). She quickly made further plans to conquer the second two highest mountains in the world (K2 and Kangchenjunga). After a brief trip back to see her family in the UK, she returned to the Himalayas in June to join an American team with a permit to climb K2. For weeks, stormy weather kept the team at base camp. By August, remnants of the team had joined up with members of other teams from Canada and New Zealand. Peter Hillary, son of Edmund who along with Tenzing Norgay completed the first successful ascent of Mount Everest (see On top of Mount Everest), was also there with a Spanish team.

On 13 August, Hillary decided to turn back and go down, forecasting a change in weather conditions. However, Hargreaves and Spaniard Javier Olivar saw fine weather and made for the summit, reaching it at 6.45pm, making Hargreaves the first woman to conquer both Everest and K2 without supplemental oxygen or support. Four other climbers reached the summit behind them; but, then, all six died in a violent storm on the way down. A seventh climber that had turned back below the summit died later from the effects of exposure. The next day two other Spanish climbers, lower down, saw debris equipment, and a body in the distance, and concluded it was Hargreaves who had been blown off the mountain in the storm.

Hillary, in an interview with The Independent, noted that a bizarre chemistry had developed among the several expeditions on the mountain ‘that meant they were going for the summit no matter what’. Of Alison, in particular, he said: ‘[She] was a brilliant climber but she had tremendous commercial pressures on her and she became obsessed. When you spoke to her it was clear that climbing came first and everything else was secondary.’

Further information is available from Wikipedia, Encyclopedia.com, a Guardian interview with Jim Ballard, the BBC, or The Independent’s obituary. Alison and Jim’s son, Tom, later became the first person to climb solo all six major north faces of the Alps in one winter - see The Telegraph, for example.

Hargreaves left behind a large volume of diary material which, apparently, was fought over by her husband on one side and her parents on the other. In any case, two journalist/climbers, David Rose and Ed Douglas were given access to them for their sympathetic biography Regions of the Heart - The Triumph and Tragedy of Alison Hargreaves (Michael Joseph, 1999).

The authors say: ‘Alison’s diaries provide a record of her life which is well in excess of a million words. For the period 1973-92, the quotations from them found here were copied by us from the originals, which were left at Meerbrook Lea when the house was repossessed in 1993 and rescued by her parents. Later diary entries were published in her own A Hard Day’s Summer (Hodder & Stoughton, 1994) and Jim Ballard’s One and two Halves to K2 (BBC Books, 1996).’

Unfortunately, their book quotes very few actual diary entries, and rarely do they come referenced with a date. The following diary-focused extracts in Regions of the Heart can all be found in the last chapter, Nemesis.

‘ ‘I’ve been missing Tom and Kate today,’ she wrote in her diary as early as 3 July, ‘probably because I have had time to think about them. I’ve half felt like not wanting really to stay and finish this “job off” - but I don’t know if or when I’ll get another chance, so I might regret it.’ ’

‘Cooney remembers her returning in tears on 11 July from one of the agonizingly short telephone calls she made on the satellite phone to her children. ‘I spoke for two and a half minutes,’ she wrote miserably in her diary.’ ’

‘ ‘I am feeling pressure back home,’ she wrote in her diary on 5 August at the height of her crisis. ‘Why I failed, what went wrong. Personally it doesn’t matter but I worry about how everyone else will see it.’ Except, of course, that how others saw her was very important indeed to her self-esteem, and for Alison failure was bitterly personal.’

‘On 5 August, with the porters ready to start carrying her equipment down the glacier next day, she wrote of how she missed the children. She’d now spent more than a hundred days of 1995 away from Tom and Kate. Yet there was still a desire for the mountain, too. ‘It eats away at me - wanting the children and wanting K2,’ she wrote. ‘I feel like I’m pulled in two. Maybe they’d be happier if Mum was around but maybe summiting K2 would help make a better future for them. Long term, having me back safe and sound is surely more important.’ ’ [It’s not clear from the authors’ text whether this last is an actual diary entry or not.]

This article is a slightly revised version of one first published on 13 August 2015.

Diary of terror

Dawit Shifaw, an Ethiopian author and former naval officer, first self-published his work, The Diary of Terror: Ethiopia 1974 to 1991, exactly twenty years ago today. Although not a diary in the strictest sense, the book is grounded in Shifaw’s personal experiences and draws heavily from the extensive journals he maintained throughout the tumultuous years of the Derg regime. His firsthand account offers a vivid, insider’s view of political upheaval, mass executions, and ethnic strife that defined Ethiopia’s darkest era.

Shifaw (born in Addis Ababa in the late 1940s) served in the Ethiopian naval forces before turning to writing. Over decades, he kept detailed personal diaries documenting everyday life and extraordinary events during the Derg period (1974-1991). After the fall of the junta, he compiled these records into a narrative format blending memoir, historical reflection, and eyewitness testimony. Although he lacked formal literary training, his work gained attention for its raw authenticity and unflinching observations.

The Diary of Terror: Ethiopia 1974 to 1991 was first self-published on 11 August 2005 (Createspace) and initially circulated within expatriate communities and among historians with an interest in Ethiopian modern history. It was later picked up by Trafford Publishing and officially released in July 2012 as a paperback edition of approximately 236 pages. Several pages can be previewed at Googlebooks.

Over time, ChatGPT suggests, the book has reached a broader audience via word of mouth, grassroots book fairs, and university reading lists focused on African studies. It has drawn praise for filling gaps in Western scholarship on the Derg era, though some critics have noted its unconventional structure and absence of editorial framing. Still, its personal immediacy and historical specificity have led to growing citations in academic papers and discussions in Ethiopian diaspora circles.

In his introduction, Shifaw explains: ‘I was lucky to work closely with Derg officials and keep thousands of pages of journals from 1974 to 1990. Of course it is not common to keep diaries in Ethiopia. But I did. Sometimes it is risky to keep a diary in such a country during turmoil. I took the risk and took notes that I still read after more than thirty years. In my diary, I entered the facts I observed and heard from the original sources of each story. I also interviewed some Derg officials informally and wrote in my diary without telling them that I was taking notes. Today those who gave me the first-hand information may not remember telling me anything. But I do.’

In the text itself, Shifaw does not seem to have quoted from his journals at all, nevertheless here is a sample of the narrative (from the start of the first chapter - The Mass Uprising): ‘For the first time in the history of Ethiopia, the people in the capital and other towns staged demonstrations against the government in February 1974. In Addis Ababa, it was the Anbessa bus drivers, the only bus service in the city who walked out to paralyze commuting and public transportation in general. It was owned by the royal families. Their demand was higher pay. On the same day, taxi drivers went on strike demanding lower gas prices. Students and teachers swarmed the city streets protesting the new policy of education. Student demonstration also continued in other major cities in the country. Students destroyed some buildings including commercial centers at some places. But the police and the army were not arresting the demonstrators, as it was feared. They watched and advised them not to damage private property.

When the civilian uprising started, something was already brewing in the military behind the barracks. For the first time, noncommissioned officers demanded higher pay and benefits. Using the military communication radio, they asked all armed forces personnel including the army, the air force, and the navy to raise their demands without fear. They pledged that they would not obey if the authorities wanted to punish the soldiers for mutiny. This initial mutiny was totally the work of noncommissioned officers of the armed forces, the army, the air force, and the navy.’

Midges very troublesome

‘Long walk without a shot. Gun did not pull at a snipe. Shot 1 grouse not picked up till after lunch. Lunch. Midges very troublesome.’ So reads a terse but vivid entry from the diary of Edward Linley Sambourne, a celebrated cartoonist and illustrator for Punch magazine. Sambourne died 115 years ago today, but his voice endures through nearly three decades of handwritten diaries, now freely available online thanks to the Sambourne Museum, which has transcribed and digitised the full collection.

Sambourne was born in London in 1844 into a middle-class family of Huguenot descent. His father, Edward Mott Sambourne, was a furrier and businessman. Young Linley attended several schools, including the City of London School, and later received training at the South Kensington School of Art, although he never completed a formal degree. From an early age, he showed considerable talent for drawing, particularly in technical illustration, which he combined with an interest in mechanical subjects and social observation.

In 1867, Sambourne began working for Punch magazine, initially as a junior artist producing decorative capitals and borders. He swiftly rose through the ranks to become one of its leading cartoonists, known for his detailed and finely wrought drawings. His style, heavily influenced by engraving techniques and photographic realism, became a hallmark of late Victorian illustration. Over the years he contributed thousands of cartoons, political satires, and social commentaries, often with a conservative bent. Outside of Punch, Sambourne also illustrated books and advertisements, and his work appeared in The Illustrated London News and other periodicals.

In 1874, he married Marion Herapath, the daughter of a wealthy stockbroker, and they settled at 18 Stafford Terrace in Kensington, now preserved as a museum. The couple had two children, including Maud, who became the mother of Anne, Countess of Rosse, and grandmother of Antony Armstrong-Jones, 1st Earl of Snowdon. Sambourne was deeply involved in London’s artistic and social circles, associating with fellow illustrators, writers, and members of the aristocracy. He was also a passionate amateur photographer, whose glass plate negatives reveal a private fascination with costume, the female form, and personal documentation. He died on 3 August 1910. For more information see Wikipedia, Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea, and Victorian Web.

Sambourne began keeping a diary in 1871 and then appears to have stopped until restarting in 1882; thereafter he maintained the habit until his death. The diaries were written in small, printed almanacs and detail his social life, professional commitments at Punch, family interactions, and observations of the period. They form part of the broader Sambourne Family Archive, preserved in the museum at 18 Stafford Terrace. All his diaries can be freely consulted online in an Issu file (with nearly 2,000 pages) uploaded by Sambourne House Museum. This is a digitised facsimile of Sambourne’s handwritten entries, released as part of the museum’s public engagement and archival accessibility efforts. Although the file lacks traditional publication metadata, it directly reflects the museum’s holdings and has not been edited or annotated for publication.

Here are several extracts.

‘1871

Thursday 8 June - Went to Ascot with King & wife M(illeg) & Miss Millington. Cold day. Mortimer won Cup. Home to supper at King’s & home after.


Friday 9 June - Rather seedy. Got up late. Worked. Played Quoits. In Chequers after.


Saturday 10 June - Worked a little. Walked with Farina to Drayton. Saw Blondin. Home & played Quoits afterwards.


Sunday 11 June - Went to see Brown at Latimore House Maidenhead. Taken up to town in train.


Monday 12 June - Worked on Ascot block. Played match at Quoits after. Lost.


Tuesday 13 June - Worked. Went up to town for first Punch Dinner. Home after. Met Garner. Walked from Drayton. (Red ink: 1st Punch Dinner.)


Wednesday 14 June - Did Essence Block.


Thursday 15 June - Worked on Pocket Book. Went to Uncle’s. Played double dummy. Pool & home.


Friday 16 June - Worked. Sent Pocket Book block off. Played quoits with William Heron. Home. Hutton & Farina there.


Saturday 17 June - Worked hard. Did three blocks.


Sunday 18 June - Worked hard. Did Thimble & Needles. At Uncle’s in evening afterwards.


Monday 19 June - Worked all day. Did Croquet girl.


Tuesday 20 June - Did Bee Wright. Went to Ealing in afternoon, there all night.


Wednesday 21 June - Went to Greenwich. Saw Gosling etc. Dined at Sydney’s. Took sketch, home by 9.30.’

5 March 1891, Stafford Terrace

‘(Red ink: Lovely day in town.) Up 10.0am. Head on after Ball. Dozed. Wrote M. Very little breakfast. Skemed drawing for Gendarme and Book maker. Saw Nash's foreman & foreman plasterer. Very little lunch. After at 2.30 Emma helped me with photos of self for Gendarme & Betting man, also Pirate being stabbed. Developed them, 6 photos. At 4.30 took cab to Turkish bath. Bought papers & flower. In bath read Indian story & Quarterly. Margullah of Spins(?). Out & cab on to Costers. Met Boughtons, Stones & Dewey. Good dinner. Talk with Marcus S after. Boughton amusing about D. Murray. Left 10.50. Home by cab. Redcliffe Road. Bed. Lovely fine day. Bright sun & light on new screen in matchboarding. Sat next Miss Macnamara at dinner. Maud dined at the Goulds. Her 1st dinner out. (Red ink across page: 1st photograph from new screen in yard.)’

18 March 1894, Stafford Terrace


‘Up at 8.30am. Down. Cold morning but bright. Breakfast. At 10.30 rode Cob along Hammersmith Rd to Mortlake & thro’ Richmond Pk. Crowd of cyclists. Down Putney Hill. Most curious dense black fog on one side of bridge, the other quite bright. Trotted home. Got stables 1.15. Changed. Lunch. Rested in chair. Read Major Griffith’s book on Prisons. At 4.15 Bret Harte & after Miss Holland & Mr Carlisle called. Slipped out & developed 8 or 10 plates taken at Knowlton Court last June. Up again & wrote many letters. After at 7.45 Welman came & dined. Had 2 bottles of Romanée Burgundy. Long talk & cigar. Welman looking very much older. He left at 10.0. Read & to bed at 12.15am. (Red ink: Blackish fog came on at 1.0pm. Very bad at Fulham.)’

11 June 1898, Stafford Terrace

‘Up at 8.20. Walk with Tip. Had to whip him. After put photos away & printed some. Very dense ones. Bright hot sun the whole day. M out. Very much annoyed by Otley & Emilie dragging heavy box over the floor cloth. Left at 12.15 & by buss to Piccadilly. Got hat at Lincoln & Bennetts (straw) & ties at (blank). On to C.C & Garrick. Lunch & talk to a gent. After to C.C. Up in hot Studio. Waited till 3.30. No one came. Tea & to Athenaeum. Saw Dr Robins. After to Bath Club. Again saw Robins. Bored by talk & in bath. Left 7.30 & home by buss. M & self dined quite quietly. Felt very tired & thirsty. Bed 12.0. (Red ink: Turkish bath. Very hot bright day. Hair cut.) (Cuttings glued in: Walter Palmer-Samborne to Bertha Taylor. June. Death of Frederick Eckstein.)’

19 August 1904, Drumlanford, Ayrshire.

‘Up at 8.30. Good breakfast. After the Factor came. Left in break at 10.0, Factor, 4 guns etc. Shot over moor past Col Hay-Boyd’s. Long walk without a shot. Gun did not pull at a snipe. Shot 1 grouse not picked up till after lunch. Lunch. Midges very troublesome. No, grouse picked up just before lunch. After continued walk by fishing ground of yesterday. Got a grey hen, 3 snipe & 1 golden plover after just at the last. Beale disappointed at bag of grouse. Home by 6.0. No news. Tea. Wrote letters etc. Let a fine old black cock off. Terribly bitten by midges. Bath & dinner. Bridge after. Bed 11.0. (Red ink: Lack of grouse at shoot. Good snipe day. Let a black cock off.) (Cuttings glued in: In Memoriam Thomas Hamp. The wife of Arthur Scawen Blunt, of a son.)’

22 November 1908, Stafford Terrace


‘Slept up to 6.45. Better night. Condal. Tea. M in room. Thankful for better night. Bath. Swelling better. Breakfast. Fair turn out. Shave. Masseur. At 12.0 went for drive with M, Hampstead Heath. Beautiful clear cold day. Back 2.0pm. Lunch. Mite with us. Up in room. Finished cuttings. Tea. Masseur. Doctor said stomach was worse. Chicken broth. In room 7.0. Punch, Westminster. Flatulence. Dinner. Roy dined downstairs. Had bad night, very little sleep. Not much flatulence. (Red ink: Dr came. Went for drive with M in 1 hr brougham up Fitzjohn’s Avenue & Hampstead Heath. Doctor said my stomach was worse. Being overfed by milk etc. Should pop off. Clear cold day.)’

26 November 1909, Stafford Terrace


‘Sleep from 7.0 to 8.20am. Grapes. Great turn out. Green. After breakfast Electricity. Dr Kingscote here 11.30am. Oxygen. Exhausted. To have exercise this afternoon. Good lunch. 1 hrs sleep. Mite & M in room. Tea. Letter from Lawrence Bradbury. Raven-Hill called. Exercise. Enjoyed dinner. Took much apple. Legs rubbed. Night nurse late in evening. Terrible night with obstinate flatulence & cough, supposed from apples. Great turn out. Slept to 4.30am & nine am. Nurse washed me in night. Terribly sore & shocking state. (Red ink: Dr here 11.20am. Bad night from apple. Cough & flatulence. Washed. Bad state & sore in night.)’

Notes to John

Pubished earlier this year, Joan Didion’s Notes to John offers readers an unvarnished glimpse into the late writer’s private reckoning with motherhood, legacy, and loss. Drawn from a file of pages discovered near her desk after her death in 2021, the journal records a period of psychiatric counselling that began in late 1999, during what Didion called ‘a rough few years’. Written for her husband, John Gregory Dunne, the entries reveal sessions of remarkable candour. Lightly edited by her longtime publisher Shelley Wanger, this posthumous publication stands apart from her earlier work - less essay, more raw notation - yet it deepens our understanding of a voice already known for its lucidity, detachment, and insight.

Didion was born in 1934, in Sacramento, California, to a family with deep roots in the state’s history. Her father was a finance officer in the Army Air Corps, which led the family to relocate frequently during World War II. She began writing at an early age and won a Vogue magazine essay contest after graduating from the University of California, Berkeley, in 1956 with a degree in English. This launched her career at Vogue, where she eventually became associate features editor and began publishing essays and journalism.

In 1964, Didion married fellow writer Dunne. The couple moved to California, collaborated on screenplays, and adopted a daughter, Quintana Roo Dunne. Their marriage, both personal and professional, was marked by intense collaboration, including work on The Panic in Needle Park (1971) and A Star Is Born (1976). Didion’s literary voice matured during this period, reflecting a sharp eye for cultural decay and political fragmentation.

Didion’s breakthrough book, Slouching Towards Bethlehem (1968), collected her incisive reports and personal essays from the 1960s. She followed this with The White Album (1979), cementing her reputation as a chronicler of disintegration in American life. Her fiction, including Play It As It Lays (1970) and Democracy (1984), received critical attention, though her nonfiction remained her most influential work. In later years, her writing became more personal, especially with The Year of Magical Thinking (2005), a meditation on grief following Dunne’s death, and Blue Nights (2011), written after the death of their daughter.

Didion received the National Medal of Arts in 2013 and was the subject of the 2017 documentary Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold, directed by her nephew Griffin Dunne. She died in December 2021, in Manhattan, due to complications from Parkinson’s disease. Further information is available from Wikipedia, Didion’s official website, and Encyclopaedia Britannica. 

Starting in November 1999, Didion began a period of psychiatric counselling, prompted, as she wrote to a friend, by the fact that her family had had ‘a rough few years’. She kept a journal of these sessions for her Dunne, and over several months, she recorded the conversations with meticulous care. Early topics included alcoholism, adoption, depression, anxiety, guilt, and the emotional complexities of her relationship with her daughter, Quintana. As time passed, the focus shifted to her professional difficulties - her struggle to sustain work - alongside reflections on her childhood, including a fraught emotional distance from her parents, a persistent anticipation of catastrophe, and the question of legacy, or, as she phrased it, ‘what it’s been worth’. The therapy would continue for over a decade.

Shortly after Didion died, a collection of about 150 unnumbered pages was found in a small portable file near her desk. The notes and pages included a sort of journal in which Didion reported on sessions with her psychiatrist, most of them in 2000. These pages are now in the Didion/Dunne archive at the New York Public Library. Didion’s longtime editor Wanger recently prepared these pages (apparently with little editing) into the posthumous publication Joan Didion: Notes to John - published in April earlier this year. A few pages can be previewed at Amazon or Googlebooks. The book also has its own Wikipedia entry. Here is one extract.

12 January 2000

‘I said that at the end of the hour last week he had said something about trust or lack of trust between mothers and daughters feeling trusted being the key to separation, to growing up - that I had discounted as not relevant, not meaningful to me.

I said that however it had stuck in my mind, and later that evening or the next day I had remembered a note I had made when I was making notes for my last novel. I would have made the note at some time after my father died - my father’s death was part of the impulse behind that particular novel - but that this note had been not about my father but about my mother. I had looked it up, and it was interesting, because it seemed to indicate some distrust or misunderstanding between my mother and me

I showed him the note. Well, yes, he said. There you are. Extraordinary insight.

Extraordinary or not, I said, it’s not much help in just getting on with life. It’s even counterproductive, considering that my mother is now 89. It’s not as if we’re going to resolve anything by confronting this.

It’s not so much a question of you and your mother, do you think? Isn’t it a question of resolving the way you and your daughter deal with each other? Since we all carry in our minds little pieces of our mothers and fathers, isn’t it possible that you may have been replicating some of this pattern with your own daughter?

I said that in fact I had mentioned it to her at dinner the other night. She had been interested in it, but the conversation moved away from the personal into discussion of political attitudes in the 1950s.

Yet it was a good beginning, he said. You could reopen it another time. The more you and she talk to each other, the closer you’re going to get to this.

I said that right now we really didn’t know where we were with her. She had seemed very open for a period of time after she stopped drinking, but now she seemed closed again, resistant. She had at one time asked me to go to an AA meeting with her for example, and I had gone. We had gone to church and then to the meeting and then met you for lunch and it had been a very good, open day. Then we got into the holidays, and she was busy, and when I asked her recently if I could go to another meeting with her she was resistant. She said it wasn’t really a good idea to bring in outsiders. Frankly I didn’t even know if she was going herself.

Do you want to know how to make her go? he asked. Go yourself to an Al-Anon meeting. Go more than once. You have to find one with people who match your own intellectual and socio-economic level, but that’s not so much of a problem in Manhattan. If she knows you’re doing that, she’s ninety per cent more likely to go herself. And I think she needs a program. Psychiatry alone isn’t going to do it for her.

I said I had a problem with Al-Anon. “Sure, and she has a problem with AA,” he said. “And you’re going to say she’s the alcoholic, you’re not. And I’m going to say you're the mother of an alcoholic, and she’s not going to stay on the program if she thinks you distrust it. I could even say of course you have a problem with Al-Anon, you have a problem with groups, you don’t trust them, you don’t know what their agenda is. Does that remind you of your mother at all?”

I said that seemed a stretch, but I would think about it. “I’m going to assign you some homework,” he said. “I started out doing traditional Freudian analysis, just listening, then I got dissatisfied with the results, so I incorporated some techniques from the behaviorists. The behaviorists use homework to shortcut the process. Here’s your homework. Actually show your daughter that note you showed me. Don’t tell her about it, show her, because it’s quite a document. Tell her you showed it to me. And if she asked what I said, tell her I asked if your mother’s distrust of other people was reflected in your distrust of Al-Anon. See what she says. I think you might be surprised what this opens up.”

I said that I would see. “I think what I hear in your voice is exactly what you hear in your daughter’s voice when you ask her about AA.” ’

A swagman’s life

‘Went down to the river to get eels. Didn’t catch any, but passed the time visiting with old Tom who still remembers the 1896 floods.’ So reads a typical entry in the diary of James Cox, an English-born swagman who spent decades tramping the rural roads of New Zealand’s North Island. Writing almost daily from the early 1880s through to the end of 1918, Cox documented a life of grinding poverty, manual labour, and quiet perseverance - producing one of the most detailed and revealing first-person records of colonial working-class life in the Southern Hemisphere. However, it was not until the 1990s that historian Miles Fairburn brought Cox’s diary to wider public attention in his acclaimed book Nearly Out of Heart and Hope: The Puzzle of a Colonial Labourer - published 30 years ago today.

Cox was born in 1846 into a Wiltshire farming family. Working as a clerical assistant in the Swindon office of the Great Western Railway, he became a proficient bookkeeper. In 1880, when his mother sold the farm, he suddenly decided to emigrate to New Zealand, part of a wave of working-class settlers drawn by the promise of work and land in the colonies. 

Over the next four decades, Cox lived a life of physical hardship and financial instability, rarely settling in one place for long - though the flax mills in Manawatu held him for a year or two. Living the life of a swagman, he found sporadic employment in rural labour - roadworks, clearing land, working as a gardener - and frequently relied on charity or relief work. He spent extended periods walking between towns or living in rudimentary shelters on the outskirts of small rural communities such as Carterton and Greytown in the Wairarapa region.

Cox never married and had no known family in New Zealand. He suffered from poor health in later life and lived out his final years in the Carter’s Home for Destitutes in Carterton. He died in July 1925. See National Library of New Zealand and Stuff for more biographical information. Despite his marginalised status, he left behind a remarkable record of his life in the form of a diary - one of the most significant first-person accounts of working-class life in New Zealand in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

Cox kept the near-daily diary from at least the early 1880s through to the end of 1918. Spanning thousands of pages, the diary is a considered an extraordinary document of colonial working-class life, chronicling everything from weather and wages to hunger, loneliness, local politics, and fleeting pleasures such as whisky, reading, or conversation. His entries are concise, factual, and repetitive, but they build cumulatively into a stark, honest portrait of precarity, endurance, and reflection on life at the social margins.

Historian Miles Fairburn brought Cox’s diary to wider public attention in his acclaimed book Nearly Out of Heart and Hope: The Puzzle of a Colonial Labourer (Auckland University Press, 1 August 1995) which can be previewed at Googlebooks. Fairburn used the diary as a primary source for a wider investigation into the structure of Cox’s life, identity, and thought. Rather than focusing solely on events, Fairburn asked why Cox lived the way he did and how his worldview was shaped by his extreme social isolation. The book is both a social history and a deep psychological and cultural reading of a unique document.

In the 2010s, a project led by the Alexander Turnbull Library and New Zealand historians turned Cox’s diary into a digital and public history initiative. Between 2013 and 2018, excerpts were posted daily on Twitter/X as part of Life 100 Years Ago, with each entry appearing exactly 100 years after its original date. This digital project brought Cox’s voice to a wide audience and positioned his diary as a rare chronicle of World War I-era life away from the battlefield. Here are a few brief extracts from the diary.

14 April 1892

‘Some showers in the night but cleared this morning and was bright and warm all day… I left Pahiatua this morning and walked through Eketahuna and to a roadmakers camp about 6 miles further where I am stopping. I had nothing since breakfast to eat but a bit of bread…’

15 April 1892

‘Good Friday. There was some rain in the night . . . I got my breakfast this morning at the camp and then walked through to Masterton . . . I am terribly footsore this evening . . .’

1902

‘I am no better off than when I came out to the colony ... hope in the coming years I may do better.’

25 April 1914

‘No work today, I loafed all day. It is pay‑day by the County Council. I got mine this afternoon £6.1.6.’

7 November 1914

‘Heard of farmers gathering in a meeting about conscription. Nearly all against it. I reckon they’ll not get it here.’

Undated (likely 1914–1916)

‘I walked to Greytown and bought some stores also had two whiskies and bought a bottle 7/- to have a nip where I want.’

Undated (likely 1914–1916)

‘The wind is southerly and chilly. I was inside until dinner time. This afternoon I walked to Carterton, changed books at the Library...’

3 August 1915

‘Went down to the river to get eels. Didn’t catch any, but passed the time visiting with old Tom who still remembers the 1896 floods.’

9 June 1916

‘Saw a lot of aeroplanes up this afternoon passing over Carterton. Hadn’t seen them fly before.’

15 February 1918

‘A strange humming in the night - it wasn’t the wind. Worried me till I realised it was the new telephone wires.’

31 December 1918

‘The end of the year finds me laid up in Carters House and of no more use but certainly much better off than I deserve to be.’

This article is a slightly revised version of one first published on 1 August 2015.

Boglice round the neck

‘At the Crown, Sir Christopher told of killing the wormes with burnt oyle (elsewhere mentiond) and of curing his Lady of a thrush by hanging a bag of live boglice about her neck.’ This is a short extract from the diary of the remarkable polymath, Robert Hooke, born 380 years ago today. He was a scientist, philosopher, architect and inventor, distinguishing himself in many fields. He served as curator of experiments of the Royal Society and was a surveyor to the City of London after the Great Fire, helping his friend Sir Christopher Wren to rebuild St Paul’s Cathedral. For a decade or so, he kept a diary, which is a rich, dense record of that period in his life. In it are mentioned hundreds of taverns and coffee houses where he had meetings, and the names of thousands of people with whom he came into contact. He also describes, in passing, inventions, innovations, discoveries, and potential medical cures (such as Wren’s cure for thrush!).

Hooke was born on 28 July 1635 (18 July Old Style) at Freshwater on the Isle of Wight, the son of a churchman. He was educated at Westminster School and, thanks to a scholarship, at Christ Church, Oxford. He worked as an assistant for the scientist Robert Boyle between 1657 and 1662, and then became curator of experiments at the Royal Society. In 1663, he was made a fellow of the Society. In this mid-1660s period he was lecturing on subjects such as mechanics and geometry, and publishing books such as Micrographia with elaborate drawings of objects viewed through a microscope, and Cometa on the nature of comets.

After the great fire in 1666, Hooke was appointed one of three surveyors of London to supervise rebuilding works, and he himself designed some new buildings, such as Bethlehem Hospital. He was great friends with Christopher Wren, and they collaborated often, for example, on St Paul’s Cathedral, whose dome uses a method of construction conceived by Hooke. In the 1670s, Hooke seems to have been at odds with other scientists, including Newton and Huygens; and he and the Royal Society were the subject of Shadwell’s satirical play The Virtuoso. In 1677, Hooke took over as secretary of the Society. The following year he published Lectures De Potentia Bestitutiva or Of Spring, which described the law of elasticity, later known as Hooke’s Law. He was also responsible for a variety of other important scientific understandings, including phenomenon of diffraction.

In the 1680s, Hooke was involved in a further dispute with Newton over the latter’s Principia which was published without any recognition of Hooke’s contribution to the theories on planetary motions. Hooke never married, but he did have mistresses, including his niece whom he had cared for since she was 11. (In fact, Hooke recorded his sexual activity in the diary - see Felicity Henderson’s blog post for more on this. ) Hooke died in 1703. Further information is available from Wikipedia, Royal Museums Greenwich, Westminster School’s Robert Hooke website, Felicity Henderson’s blog on Hooke, or UCMP’s page on Hooke.

Robert Hooke began keeping a journal (or memorandum book) on 10 March 1672, and continued until May 1683. It’s considered the most important record of Hooke’s life, and is held by Guildhall Library, London. The manuscript was transcribed and published by Henry W. Robinson and Walter Adams as The Diary of Robert Hooke (Taylor & Francis, 1935). The editors explain that the diary has a somewhat tortuous (and partly unknown) history.

For most of the first year, the entries are mainly concerned with the weather, but these give way to more general entries recording notable events and the author’s own activities. Each entry becomes, in fact, a dense record of Hooke’s movements and meetings, often difficult to interpret without further contextual information. By 1679, his stamina in recording the busy days begins to wane, and the entries become noticeably shorter, sometimes just one or two lines. The entry for Monday 28 June 1680, for example, reads: ‘Spent most of my time in considering all matters.’ The editors note that the diary is replete with chaotic punctuation (a full stop after every two or three words, as if, they add, Hooke had rested his pen on the paper while thinking up the next words to write).

Well over 100 taverns and coffee houses are mentioned in the published version of Hooke’s diary, all listed at the back; and there is also a biographical index with around 2,000 names. Dr Felicity Henderson, of Exeter University, who is currently editing the diary for a new edition to be published by Oxford University Press, has already made available, with the Royal Society, an annotated collection of Hooke’s diary entries which were omitted from the Robinson/Adams edition, i.e. from March to July 1672 and from January 1681 to May 1683. 

Here are several samples of Hooke’s diary style, taken from the 1935 publication.

18 May 1675
‘At Sir J. Mores. Player and Oliver Dogs. at Holburne conduit. - in quest of Sir Chr: Wren at Lords house. Mr. Colwall walked with Titus. Gave Grace chocolatt. Discoursed with Sir Chr: Wren. Noe money but to contribute towards his losse by wells and account. Dind with Boyl. Walkd with Scarborough in the park. Met with Montacue. Told Sir Christopher my Longitude inventions. Met the King in the Park. he shewd watch, affirmed it very good.’

25 May 1675
‘At Dr. Busbys. With the King and shewd my watch with a magnet with which he was well pleased and Invited me to come to him. Dind at Busbys. At Dr. Hameys £10. At Dr. Whitakers. Fine children. Mayer and his wife at Storys. Went home. Severall Disputes with Tompion urged him forward with watch - the rest of the week I forgot but I received the Double pendulum Sea clock and had a box made by Coffin for it, I hung it by strings. I shewd it Tompion upon Sunday when I drank Dulwich water. And upon Monday I went to the King. I was introduced by Colonel Titus. The King very well pleased I knew not what to ask. He went into his closet. Tompion and Harry with me I shewd it Sir Chr. Wren. Sir Chr. Wren unwilling to let me have any money though Woodroof had £50, unwilling I should have any room in Gallery at Whitehall, would have thrust me into the park.’

17 June 1675
‘At Mr. Montacues and at the ground with Mr. Russell and Montacue. Noe councell. Society Read Dr. Grew. Outlandish physitian. Oldenburg a Rascall. I propounded my theory about the digestion of liquors, about Putrefaction, about the parts of Liquors working one upon another etc. Received from Brounker order for receiving from Chest. Received it from Collonel Richards. Received also Hay Grains his bowle of silver from him. Gave J. Clay 5 shill.’

23 August 1675
‘R. Smith here about Dr. Hamey. With Andrews to Sir Ch. Wren about sand and rubble for Paules. Delivered back to Martin, Simsons book and Hobbs de mirabilibus Pecci. With Sir Ch: Wren to Lord Mayors to Bedlam. To Physicians Colledge. To Paules wharf. Coles at Hearnes. At Mrs. Mayors. Heard of Bloodworth’s sicknesse at Garaways.’

16 August 1677
‘Smart here about Hold, a note to be at East India house tomorrow. To founders in Bedlam for 2 ballances. Sent Tom to Scowen. At Sir Chr. Wrens. Passd Mr. Marshalls bill for Coleman street. Dind with Marshall and Oliver. to Rowlisons at Miter. At Home, Henshaw, Hoskins, Hill, Hawk, Whistler, Aubery. At the Crown, Sir Christopher told of killing the wormes with burnt oyle (elsewhere mentiond) and of curing his Lady of a thrush by hanging a bag of live boglice about her neck. Discoursed about theory of the Moon which I explained. Sir Christopher told his way of solving Keplers problem by the Cycloeid.’

10 August 1678
‘Received a note from Tillotson to Direct masons at Paules, the Bishop of Londons kindnesse. Directed Lamb about universall map. Calld at Lever Pits to fetch back a bad globe. at Gerrards, Goldsmith at Holburn bridge, Bloomsberry, Sir Ch. Wrens, to Paules. at Childs with Sir Ch. Wren, told him my designes of mapps, my equation of springs. took of Pit book of Education 2sh., borrowd Sansoms 43 mapps. Haak here. Grace bound Bocconi and Oughtred. Began introduction to Atlas from Lamb 4 sheets of the North Col. hemisphere. ill and melancholy.’

The Diary Junction

Wall Street palpitating

It is 150 years today since the death of George Templeton Strong, a New York lawyer remembered for his remarkable diary, which provides a near-daily description, a living history, of his city during the mid-19th century. He was as keen on writing about fire emergencies, financial panic (‘Wall Street has been palpitating uneasily all day’), and riots in the streets as he was about the nuisance of organ-grinders outside his house. Some say Strong’s is the greatest American diary in the nineteenth century.

Strong was born in his father’s house in Manhattan in 1820, and was educated at Columbia College. He trained as a lawyer, and joined his father’s firm, practicing as a real estate attorney. He married Ellen Ruggles in 1848, both of them keen amateur musicians, and moved into a house near Gramercy Park. They had one son (also George, but not born until 1856), who became a composer and painter and spent most of his adult life in Europe.

In the 1860s, and through the Civil War, Strong took on various public service roles, serving on the executive committee of the Sanitary Commission (a precursor of the American Red Cross), helping found the Union League Club of New York, and acting as a trustee of Columbia College. He was also a vestryman at Trinity Episcopal Church, and, from 1870 to 1874, president of the New York Philharmonic. He died relatively young, on 21 July 1875. A little further biographical information is available at Greenwich Village History, Mr Lincoln and New York, or Wikipedia.

Strong is mostly remembered for the daily diary he kept from the age of fifteen and for the next 40 years - amounting to some four million words. The manuscript diaries are held by the New-York Historical Society, and have been edited twice for publication. The first time was by Allan Nevins and Milton Halsey Thomas (four volumes, Macmillan, 1952) - all of which can be downloaded as pdfs from this website. This version was abridged into one volume in 1988 for publication by University of Washington Press. According to Nevins: ‘Strong was an artist who was consciously trying to render his own city, his own time, his own personality in such form that later generations could comprehend them.’ 

The diaries were also edited by Vera Brodsky Lawrence for her three volumes: Strong on Music: The New York Music Scene in the Days of George Templeton Strong (University of Chicago Press, 1988-1999).

A few extracts from Strong’s diary (taken from the Nevins/Thomas volumes) can be found at Googlebooks in The Civil War - The Third Year Told By Those Who Lived It, edited by Brooks D Simpson; and in Writing New York - a literary anthology, edited by Phillip Lopate. Lopate says Strong’s diary is ‘the greatest American diary in the nineteenth century’, remarkable not only for its length but for ‘the flavoursome precision of the writing’.

Here are several extracts culled from Writing New York.

23 November 1851
‘Fearful calamity at a public school in Ninth Ward Thursday afternoon, a false alarm of fire, a panic, a stampede downstairs of 1,800 children, and near fifty killed on the spot and many more wounded - a massacre of the innocents. The stair banisters gave way, and the children fell into the square well round which the stairs wound, where the heap of killed and wounded lay for hours before help could reach them. The doors opened inwards. The bodies were piled up to the top of the doors; they did not dare burst them open and had to cut them slowly away with knives.’

5 July 1852
‘Have been at home all day writing. Tonight went on the roof awhile. It’s a beautiful sight the city presents. In every direction one incessant sparkle of fire balls, rockets, roman candles, and stars of all colors shooting thick into the air and disappearing for miles around, with now and then a glare of coloured light coming out in some neighbourhood where fireworks on a large scale are going off. A foreigner would put it in his book of travels as one of the marvels of New York, and compare it to a swarm of tropical fireflies gleaming in and out through a Brazilian forest.’

23 November 1855
‘I must ascertain whether the mighty bug-destroyer Lyons has no modification of his cockroach powder that will exterminate organ-grinders. We suffer peculiarly here, for the street is very quiet, and they play all round the square before they leave it and are more or less audible at each successive station. I have been undergoing the performances of one of the tribe for an hour and a half and have heard “Casta Diva,” “Ah, Non Giunge,” the first chorus of Ernani, and some platitude from the Trovatore languidly ground out six times each. It makes me feel homicidal. If Abel had gone about with hand organs, I shouldn’t censure Cain so very harshly. There goes “Casta Diva” for the seventh time!’

14 October 1857
‘We have burst. All the banks declined paying specie this morning, with the ridiculous exception of the Chemical, which is a little private shaving-shop of the Joneses with no depositors but its own stockholders.

Wall Street has been palpitating uneasily all day, but the first effect of the suspension is, of course, to make men breathe more freely. A special session is confidently expected, and the meeting of merchants at the Exchange at 3:30 P.M. appointed a committee that has gone to Albany to lay the case before Governor King. He ought to decline interference, but were I in his place I dare say my virtue would give way.

My great anxiety has been for the savings banks. Saw the officers of the two in which I feel a special interest (the Bleecker Street and Seaman’s). Both were suicidally paying specie and thus inviting depositors to come forward to get the gold they could get nowhere else and could sell at a premium. The latter changes from specie to bills tomorrow; the former did so this afternoon. All the savings banks are to do so tomorrow. The run has been very formidable; some say not so severe as it was yesterday, but bad enough. I think they will get through.’

14 July 1863
‘Eleven P.M. Fire bells clanking, as they have clanked at intervals through the evening. Plenty of rumours throughout the day and evening, but nothing very precise or authentic. There have been sundry collisions between the rabble and the authorities, civil and military. Mob fired upon. It generally runs, but on one occasion appears to have rallied, charged the police and militia, and forced them back in disorder. The people are waking up, and by tomorrow there will adequate organization to protect property and life. Many details come in of yesterday’s brutal, cowardly ruffianism and plunder. Shops were cleaned out and a black man hanged in Carmine Street, for no offence but that of Nigritude. Opdyke’s house again attacked this morning by a roaming handful of Irish blackguards. Two or three gentlemen who chanced to be passing saved it from sack by a vigorous charge and dispersed the popular uprising (as the Herald, World, and News call it), with their walking sticks and their fists.

Walked uptown perforce, for no cars and few omnibi were running. They are suppressed by threats of burning railroad and omnibus stables, the drivers being wanted to reinforce the mob. Tiffany’s shop, Ball & Black’s, and a few other Broadway establishments are closed. (Here I am interrupted by a report of a fire near at hand, and a great glare on the houses across the Park. Sally forth, and find the Eighteenth Ward station house, Twenty-second Street, near First Avenue, in full blaze. A splendid blaze it made, but I did not venture below Second Avenue, finding myself in a crowd of Celtic spectators disgorged by the circumjacent tenement houses. They were exulting over the damage to “them bloody police,” and so on. I thought discretion the better part of curiosity. Distance lent enchantment to that view.)

At 823 with Bellows four to six; then home. At eight to Union League Club. Rumor it’s to be attacked tonight. Some say there is to be a great mischief tonight and that the rabble is getting the upper hand. Home at ten and sent for by Dudley Field, Jr., to confer about an expected attack on his house and his father’s, which adjoin each other in this street just below Lexington Avenue. He has a party there with muskets and talks of fearful trouble before morning, but he is always a blower and a very poor devil. Fire bells again again at twelve-fifteen. No light of conflagration is visible. [. . .]

A good deal of yelling to the eastward just now. The Fields and their near neighbour, Colonel Frank Howe, are as likely to be attacked by this traitor-guilded mob as any people I know. If they are, we shall see trouble in this quarter, and Gramercy Park will acquire historical associations. O, how tired I am! But I feel reluctant to go to bed. I believe I dozed off a minute or two. There came something like two reports of artillery, perhaps only falling walls. There go two jolly Celts along the street, singing a genuine Celtic howl, something about “Tim O’Laggerty,” with a refrain of pure Erse. Long live the sovereigns of New York, Brian Boroo redivivus and multiplied. Paddy has left his Egypt - Connaught - and reigns in this promised land of milk and honey and perfect freedom. Hurrah, there goes a strong squad of police marching eastward down this street, followed by a company of infantry with gleaming bayonets. One A.M. Fire bells again, southeastward, “Swinging slow with sullen roar.” Now they are silent, and I shall go to bed, at least for a season.’

This article is a slightly revised version of one first published on 21 July 2015.

The weather in Ireland

‘The rain here is absolute, magnificent, and frightening. To call this rain bad weather is as inappropriate as to call scorching sunshine fine weather. You can call this rain bad weather, but it is not. It is simply weather, and weather means rough weather.’ This is from Irish Journal by Heinrich Böll, a German Nobel prize-winning author who died 40 years ago today. Although it is called a ‘journal’ and does occasionally read like one, there are no dated entries, and the text is more reminiscent of a travelogue or memoir than a diary.

Böll was born in 1917, in Cologne, Germany, into a working-class Catholic family. He was the eldest of four children, and his early life was shaped by the strong religious values of his household and the economic hardships of the interwar period. Böll attended the University of Cologne, where he initially studied German, history, and philosophy, but his studies were interrupted by World War II. Drafted into the German army, he served on the Western Front, an experience that profoundly shaped his pacifist beliefs and critical stance toward militarism. After the war, these experiences deeply influenced his literary themes of guilt, loss, and the human cost of conflict.

After the war, Böll returned to complete his studies, earning his degree before embarking on a successful literary career marked by a strong social conscience and a focus on the moral complexities faced by individuals in postwar Germany. He married Annemarie Cech, a journalist, in 1942, and together they had four children. Böll’s early career was distinguished by poignant short stories and novels that tackled the realities of war, guilt, and the rebuilding of German society. His most notable works include Billiards at Half-Past Nine (1959), The Clown (1963), and Group Portrait with Lady (1971), which earned international acclaim and cemented his reputation as a leading voice of the postwar generation.

Throughout his life, Böll remained an influential literary and cultural figure, vocally advocating for democracy, human rights, and social justice. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1972 for his uncompromising and compassionate writings that captured the spirit and struggles of his time. He died on 16 July 1985, in Langenbroich, West Germany, leaving behind a profound legacy as one of Germany’s most important and respected postwar authors. Further information is available from Wikipedia, Encyclopaedia Britannica, and the Nobel Prize website.

Böll was not a diarist in the traditional sense, however he was a prolific letter writer and essayist, and he did keep notebooks with story ideas, sketches, and fragments. He also produced one book that, in title at least, has the trappings of a diary: Irisches Tagebuch (Tagebuch is usually translated as ‘diary’) published in 1957 by Kiepenheuer & Witsch. This was translated into English by Leila Vennewitz and published by Peter Owen in 1958 as Irish Journal. Despite the title, the book is more of a poetic, essayistic travelogue - part reportage, part fiction, part meditation on poverty, Catholicism, and human resilience. A modern edition published Northwestern University Press in 1998 can be sampled at Googlebooks.

Here are the opening paragraphs from chapters 1, 3 and 9.

‘Arrival

As soon as I boarded the steamer I could see, hear, and smell that I had crossed a frontier. I had seen one of England’s gentle, lovely sides: Kent, almost bucolic - I had barely skimmed the topographical marvel that is London - then seen one of England’s gloomier sides, Liverpool - but here on the steamer there was no more England: here there was already a smell of peat, the sound of throaty Celtic from between decks and the bar, here Europe’s social order was already assuming new forms: poverty was no longer “no disgrace,” it was neither honor nor disgrace: it was - as an element of social awareness - as irrelevant as wealth; trouser creases had lost their sharp edge, and the safety pin, that ancient Celtic clasp, had come into its own again. Where the button had looked like a full stop, put there by the tailor, the safety pin had been hung on like a comma; a sign of improvisation, it draped the material in folds, where the button had prevented this. I also saw it used to attach price tickets, lengthen suspenders, replace cufflinks, finally used as a weapon by a small boy to pierce a man’s trouser seat: the boy was surprised, frightened because the man did not react in any way; the boy carefully tapped the man with his forefinger to see if he was still alive: he was still alive, and patted the boy laughingly on the shoulder.’

‘Pray for the Soul of Michael O’Neill

At Swift’s tomb my heart had caught a chill, so clean was St. Patrick’s Cathedral, so empty of people and so full of patriotic marble figures, so deep under the cold stone did the desperate Dean seem to lie, Stella beside him: two square brass plates, burnished as if by the hand of a German housewife: the larger one for Swift, the smaller for Stella; I wished I had some thistles, hard, big, long-stemmed, a few clover leaves, and some thornless, gentle blossoms, jasmine perhaps or honeysuckle; that would have been the right thing to offer these two, but my hands were as empty as the church, just as cold and just as clean. Regimental banners hung side by side, half-lowered: did they really smell of gunpowder? They looked as if they did, but the only smell was of mold, as in every church where for centuries no incense has been burned; I felt as though I were being bombarded with needles of ice; I fled, and it was only in the entrance that I saw there was someone in the church after all: the cleaning woman; she was washing down the porch with lye, cleaning what was already clean enough.’

‘Thoughts on Irish Rain

The rain here is absolute, magnificent, and frightening. To call this rain bad weather is as inappropriate as to call scorching sunshine fine weather. You can call this rain bad weather, but it is not. It is simply weather, and weather means rough weather. It reminds us forcibly that its element is water, falling water. And water is hard. During the war I once watched a burning aircraft going down on the Atlantic coast; the pilot landed it on the beach and fled from the exploding machine. Later I asked him why he hadn’t landed the burning plane on the water, and he replied: “Because water is harder than sand.” I never believed him, but now I understood: water is hard. And how much water can collect over three thousand miles of ocean, water that rejoices in at last reaching people, houses, terra firma, after having fallen only into water, only into itself. How can rain enjoy always falling into water?’

Better than Proust’s madeleine

‘I am startled to find that on the last page of my diary for 1980 I myself wrote: “There will be a nuclear war in the next decade.” And then in capital letters, as if the lower case formulation was still inadequate: “WE WILL SEE A NUCLEAR WAR IN THIS DECADE.” ’ This is from the youthful diaries of British historian Timothy Garton Ash - celebrating his 70th birthday today. It’s one of a few diary entries he revealed in a 1997 book - The File: A Personal History - based on his time in Berlin and a report compiled on him then by the East German secret police.

Garton Ash was born on 12 July 1955. His father, John, had been a Royal Artillery officer, one of the first to land in Normandy on D-Day, and later a finance expert advising schools in the independent sector. Timothy himself was schooled at Sherborne, and then studied modern history at Oxford University. He moved to Berlin, in the early 1980s, to further his postgraduate research, and then travelled widely through Eastern Europe reporting on the emancipation of Central Europe from communism. He was appointed foreign editor of the Spectator, but also wrote for The Times and The Independent.

Since 1990, Garton Ash has been a Fellow of St Antony’s College, Oxford, and, since 2004, Professor of European Studies at the University of Oxford, where he is also the Isaiah Berlin Professorial Fellow. In the US, he maintains a part-time residence at the Hoover Institution (Stanford University). There is very little personal information about Garton Ash readily available online other than that he is married to Danuta, has two children, and is based in Oxford. More readily available - at Wikipedia, for example, is information on his fellowships and awards.

After authoring, in the 1980s and early 1990s, several books on the recent history of central Europe, Garton Ash turned his attention to a more personal story. He discovered that the Stasi had kept a detailed file on his activities and movements while living in Berlin, and he returned to the city to look into the file, and, ultimately to write and publish a book on his findings - The File: A Personal History (HarperCollins 1997, republished by Atlantic Books in 2009, with a new afterword).

‘In this memoir,’ the publisher says, ‘Garton Ash describes what it was like to rediscover his younger self through the eyes of the Stasi, and then to go on to confront those who actually informed against him to the secret police. Moving from document to remembrance, from the offices of British intelligence to the living rooms of retired Stasi officers, The File is a personal narrative as gripping, as disquieting, and as morally provocative as any fiction by George Orwell or Graham Greene. And it is all true.’

Of interest to me, to this web site, is that Garton Ash kept a diary during his Berlin years (I’ve no idea whether he has continued to keep one in the 30 odd years since - I hope so), and used that diary to inform and colour his literary and moral adventures in Stasi-land. Unfortunately, however, he rarely quotes from his diary at any length, preferring to cite it as the source of some piece of information about his whereabouts or feelings or thoughts. However, here are a few short extracts, as quoted in The File directly from his diary.

In the first pages of the book, Garton Ash reproduces a Stasi observation report on him for 6 October 1979 when he made a trip to East Berlin. He follows this by describing the contents of his own diary for that day, which has Claudia ‘cheeky in red beret and blue uniform coat’. ‘Over Friedrichstrasse,’ his diary continues, ‘searched down to the soles of my shoes (Duckers. Officer very impressed.)’ He then continues with memories of the day before quoting this, also from his diary of that day: ‘Becoming yet more intimate . . . The torchlit procession. The cold, cold east wind. Our warmth. The maze - encircled. Slipping through the columns, evading the policemen. Finally to ‘Ganymed’. Tolerable dinner. C. re. her ‘Jobben’. Her political activity. We cross back via Friedrichstr. To Diener’s . . . c.0300 at Uhlandstr. Daniel, desperate and pale-faced before the flat door - locked out!’

At the end of this introductory chapter Garton Ash writes: ‘The Stasi’s observation report, my own diary entry: two versions of one day in a life. The “object” described with the cold outward eye of the secret policeman and my own subjective, allusive, emotional self-description. But what a gift to memory is a Stasi file. Far better than Proust’s madeleine.’

Garton Ash’s diary continues to inform and enrich his story in the book, part memoir, part analysis, part drama (in the sense that he confronts several of the people who had informed on him years earlier, and considers at length whether to mention their real names or not). But, as I’ve said, he rarely quotes more than a few words. Here’s some further, very brief, extracts from later in the book when he’s heading for Poland to cover the rise of Solidarity.

- ‘Poland was what journalists call a “breaking story”. To follow such a story is like being lashed to the saddlestraps of a racehorse at full gallop: very exciting, but you don’t get the best view of the race. Yet I tried to achieve a view from the Grandstand, even an aerial view, and to understand the story as part of history. The history of the present. For me, Poland was also a cause. “Poland is my Spain” I wrote in my diary on Christmas Eve 1980.’

- ‘On the day I left East Berlin, my diary records: “It seems to me now odds-on that the Russians will march into Poland. (And the Germans? Dr D. today says Ja.)” ’

- ‘I am startled to find that on the last page of my diary for 1980 I myself wrote: “There will be a nuclear war in the next decade.” And then in capital letters, as if the lower case formulation was still inadequate: “WE WILL SEE A NUCLEAR WAR IN THIS DECADE.” ’

As mentioned above, Garton Ash appears once only in my own diaries. This was in September 2005, and I was much taken up with my failure to get any attention for a novel I’d written and self-published, Kip Fenn - Reflections (more recently re-self-published in three volumes under the title Not a Brave New World - a trilogy in three wives). I had been very excited about this novel - the fictional memoir of an international diplomat, but one set in the future, spanning the whole of the 21st century, and very much focused on political and social issues, particularly the rich-poor divide. Despite its original format and story-line, I’d been unable to get anyone in the publishing industry to even glance at it, let alone take it seriously. 

That particular day, I noted in my diary several stories in The Guardian, all of which related directly to themes in my novel, in particular Garton Ash’s: Decivilisation is not as far away as we like to think.
Garton Ash concluded that article as follows: ‘In political preaching mode, we may take [hurricane] Katrina as an appeal to get serious about addressing these challenges, which means the great blocs and the great powers of the world [. . .] reaching for a new level of international cooperation.’ Yes, ‘Reaching for a new level of international cooperation’ was precisely the main and urgent theme of my novel.

I also note in my diary that day how the media was giving a lot of attention to the UN’s 60th birthday, and calling for an increase in the amount of aid to the developed world - again this was also major theme in my novel. Indeed, the career of the narrator, Kip Fenn, in my novel leads him to become head of a major new UN agency designed to fund sustainable development in developing countries to counteract the worst effects of climate change.

This article is a revised version of one first published on 12 July 2015.

The rock and roll life

‘Today is my birthday and it’s the first one I ever spent on a train. Arrived Chicago at 1pm. Had a three-hour layover then caught the 4pm train for home. Should be there at 6.35 tomorrow morning. Happy birthday Bill. What a life.’ This is Bill Haley, the great - and some say forgotten - rock and roll star of the 1950s writing in a diary he kept for a few months at the height of his fame. Today, also, would have been his birthday - his 100th!

Bill Haley was born on 6 July 1925, into a musical family - his father played the banjo, and his mother keyboards. They moved from Highland Park, Michigan, to near Chester, Pennsylvania, during the Great Depression, but, by the age of 15, Bill had left home and was making money where he could by playing guitar. At some point during the 1940s, he was considered one of the top cowboy yodelers, known as Silver Yodeling Bill Haley.

For six years, Haley was a DJ and then musical director of Radio Station WPWA in Chester, Pennsylvania. He married his first wife, Dorothy Crowe, in 1946, and had two children with her. He led his own band - Bill Haley’s Saddlemen - which played at clubs around Philadelphia as well as on the radio. In 1951, the group made its first recordings on Ed Wilson’s Keystone Records. These included a cover of Rocket 88, a rhythm and blues song first recorded by Jackie Brenston and his Delta Cats earlier the same year in Memphis, Tennessee, (considered by some to be the first ever rock and roll record). The following year, the Saddlemen changed its name to Bill Haley and the Comets. Success soon followed, with many top 20 hits over the next few years. Already divorced, Haley married his second wife, Barbara Joan Cupchack, with whom he had two children, though only one survived through infancy.

Crazy Man, Crazy and a cover version of Big Joe Turner’s Shake, Rattle and Roll were the group’s first big hits; and the latter was the first rock and roll song to enter the British singles charts (December 1954). Rock Around the Clock, said to have been written for Haley, released in 1954, did not become a number one single, on both sides of the Atlantic, until a year later, after it appeared as the theme song for Blackboard Jungle starring Glenn Ford. History has settled on Rock Around the Clock, and specifically Haley’s recording of it, as the key record that brought rock and roll into mainstream culture around the world, thus in time displacing the jazz and pop standards performed by singers such as Frank Sinatra, Perry Como and Bing Crosby.

Bill Haley and the Comets continued to record hits through the later 1950s, and Haley starred in the first rock and roll musical films Rock Around the Clock and Don’t Knock the Rock, both in 1956. It wasn’t long, though, before Elvis Presley arrived on the scene, eclipsing Haley, whose life, by the early 1960s, was falling apart: the Comets were in trouble, as was his marriage, and he had problem with tax debts. He fled to Mexico where he married his third wife, Martha Velasco, a dancer. They had one child together. There, he also signed up with a domestic record label, Orfeon, and his group released many songs recorded in Spanish.

As the 1960s progressed, Haley toured in Europe with fans keen to discover rock music’s roots, and the Sonet label gave him a lucrative deal. In the US, so-called revival concerts, first staged by promoter Richard Nader in 1969, brought Haley back into the limelight. By the early 70s, Rock Around the Clock was again a hit: re-recorded by Haley for a popular TV show, while the original recording appeared on the soundtrack of American Graffiti. Having been dogged by alcohol problems, Haley’s health deteriorated quickly. After performing in front of Queen Elizabeth II in late 1979 at a Royal Variety Performance, he went on tour to South Africa where he gave his very last performances - a tour to Germany was cancelled. He may, or may not, have had a brain tumour, but his mental and physical health collapsed in the months following, and he died in early 1981. He was posthumously inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987.

Further biographical information can be found at Wikipedia, in a Guardian re-assessment of Haley as a forgotten pioneer of rock and roll, Rik Hull’s fan site, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, or the Pennsylvania Center for the Book.

At the height of his early fame, Bill Haley decided to keep a daily diary. Edited extracts were first published (as far as I know) in three editions of the Now Dig This magazine (Nos. 154 and 155 in 1996, covering Haley’s 1956 diary, and No. 166 in 1997, covering Haley’s 1957 diary). Although these diary entries are not available anywhere online, they are quoted extensively in Otto Fuchs’s biography - Bill Haley - The Father of Rock and Roll. This was first published in German, and then in an English language version (900 pages) by Wagner Verlag in 2011. Here are some extracts from Haley’s diary as quoted by Fuchs from Now Dig This.

7 January 1956
‘Started second day on picture at 9.30 am. Everything going well. Saw some re-runs on first scenes. I look terrible I think, but everyone is giving me compliments. Hope we get through this. Quite an experience. Glad to have Cuppy with me.’ [Bill Haley and His Comets were with a large entourage in Hollywood to star in a film named after their greatest hit - Rock Around The Clock.]

9 January 1956
‘Reported at 9.30 am for third day at Colombia lot. Shot more scenes on the picture. Today did ‘Rock Around The Clock’ and ‘Rudy’s Rock’. That makes 5 songs so far we’ve done in the picture. So far the picture is going great. This is a big break for us. Keeping my fingers crossed. To bed early and up at them tomorrow at 7.30 am.’

13 January 1956
‘Finished picture. $20,000 for picture. Started 7.30 am on sixth day of picture. Had my big talking scenes today. Finished work on picture at 3 pm. Now it’s up to the public whether we’re movie stars or not. Worked in El Monte, California tonight - $1,500. Poor crowd. Promoter says disc jockeys are mad at me because I haven’t been able to see them. You can’t win. Hope I can straighten things out. Met Harry Tobias today. He gave me some songs for our firm.’

21 January 1956
‘Salt Lake City, Utah. Rainbow Rondeau - $1,900. Spent day doing D.J. promotion. Treated us like royalty here. Very nice hotel. Worked two shows tonight. Drew over 2,500 people. Very good crowd, Record of ‘Later Alligator’ already in Top 10 here. Looks like we have a big hit. This has been a good day.’

26 January 1956
‘Got my new 1956 Fleetwood Cadillac today. It’s pink and the most gorgeous car I’ve ever seen. Everyone loves the car. The sad part is I leave tomorrow morning for a 10-day tour of one-nighters. I hate to leave home again. But maybe soon we can slack off work.’

22 April 1956
‘3rd day [of 45 day tour]. Weather good so far. All the acts are behaving. Mosque Theatre, Richmond, Virginia. $1,430. Both shows sold out and turned thousands away. 9,600 people for two shows. This tour is like sitting on a keg of dynamite. The show is all coloured but our act. With the racial situation in the south broiling plus the newspapers and magazines like ‘Variety’ stirring up everyone about rock and roll, anything can happen. I hope my nerves hold up.’

28 May 1956
‘Left Miami at 9.30am on Eastern Railroad for Savannahm Georgia where we are tonight. Arrived Savannah at 7.25pm Sports Arena, Savannah, Georgia $1,420. 2,500 people here. Segregation problem is strong here as we expected. This time the negroes refused to come to the second show. Results: 2,500 people first show, second show cancelled. This race problem is not mine. I’ll be glad to finish this tour and let the south alone for now.’

6 July 1956
‘Today is my birthday and it’s the first one I ever spent on a train. Arrived Chicago at 1pm. Had a three-hour layover then caught the 4pm train for home. Should be there at 6.35 tomorrow morning. Happy birthday Bill. What a life.’

The diary entries for 1957 cover tours to Australia and Europe (inc. England), but Haley’s commitment to the diary is waning by then, and his entries get briefer and briefer.

This article is a slightly revised version of one first published on 6 July 2015.